Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Thoughts on People's Thoughts.
And now to be serious.
I rarely blog about spiritual issues, not because I'm opposed or shy about sharing. It's more that I preferr to meditate on these things in private or to speak about them face to face with someone rather than write about them. But every once in a while, I feel compelled to share. Today is one of those days.
"Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety." Proverbs 29:25
I read this verse today. I've read this verse numerous times. But today this verse stood out to me. Here's why - I am a people pleaser to a fault. I want everyone to like me and I want everyone to approve of me. When I percieve that someone doesn't like me, it makes me feel insecure. My security is based on what people think of me. I am afraid that people won't like me. This is an awful way to live - a dangerous trap. Over the years, I've become more aware of this personal conflict. I've stopped obsessing about what others may think of me. But it has taken years, with lots of prayer and lots of time to allow God to change my thinking. I've had to give my insecurities to God and allow him to heal my heart as I have spent time with him. The closer I've drawn to God, the less time I have spent worrying about what other people think. I'm not going to lie, I still have days when I spend a little too much time worrying about other people's opinions concerning me. There are times when my insecurities creep up inside of my heart, but I've found the best way to deal with this conflict is to stop and remind myself that people's opinions of me don't matter.
I recently got yelled at by a CRAZY lady in the grocery store parking lot of over a misunderstanding. Long story short - she thought I stole her parking spot, but what she didn't realize or see was that I had been waiting for that spot long before she had arrived. She went totally balistic on me, nearly hit my car (and my mom who met me there), reported me to the store (gasp! oh no!), and repeatedly told me that I was a horrible person. Nobody enjoys being yelled at, but honestly, I really didn't care what she said or thought about me. Actually, I found the whole situation rather hysterical, considering that she managed to show everyone around us that she had a screw loose.
That conflict served as a watermark to me. It showed me how far I have come. If this had happened to me about 8 years ago, I probably would have curled up in a ball and started crying. Well...not really. But you get the idea.
Fearing people is a dangerous trap - worrying about people and what they think of you will only lead to heartache. You can't please everyone. It's impossible.
But trusting the Lord means safety - the only opinion that truly matters is God's. And only he can bring you the true peace and fulfillment that you are searching for in others. My relationship with God puts my heart at peace.
And I am blessed. :)
And on a not-so-serious note, I have an awesome story to share with you guys about what a ninja I am. But more on that later. Ha ha.
And one more thing. My toddler puked all over his bed and the carpet at 10:30 last night. It was awesome. I have no idea why he puked. He seems fine today. Just thought I would share. Oh the joys of parenting.