As of tomorrow, I will officially be 7 months pregnant. Two more months left! Last night I realized that my baby will be full term (38 weeks) in only 6 weeks...so he could possibly come as soon as six weeks from now. The reality is growing and sinking in more and more by the day. But I'm still not scared. At least I don't think I am. I feel ready for him - as ready as I can be without the parenting experience. Someone told me recently that I had no clue what I was getting myself into, no matter how much preparation I've made (classes, books, babysitting, etc) that I was in for a huge surprise. Basically they were trying to tell me that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. That wasn't very nice of them, and by the way they spoke to me, it was quite obvious they were deliberately trying to make me feel foolish and inferior to them. But you know what?
1.)- that person is not a nice person, and obviously has some personal issues to deal with.
2.) - they haven't kept in contact with me over the past ten or so years, and therefore really don't know me, my experiences, and obviously misinterpreted what I was really saying.
3.) - they were 23 when they had their first child. I'm 28. (btw, I'm totally not putting down those who've had their children earlier in life than myself) There is quite a difference - a lot changes between those years. And I know for a fact that I have had way more life experiences than they had before they had their first child. I am not the same as this person, and they seem to think that I am in the same position that they were when they had their first child.
Realistically I understand that I cannot be completely 100% prepared for this - of course not! But I do have the understanding that there is a lot of sacrifice, attention, stress, etc that goes with raising a child. I understand that my life will never be the same. I understand that everything will change. I understand that there will be problems and complications to deal with. I understand that I will lose a lot of sleep taking care of my child (but, wow, after being up all night and unable to get more than an hour of sleep last week when I was sick, I totally feel like I can handle all the late nights with my baby!). That's what I mean when I say that I am ready. I am ready for this change. No, I don't know exactly what will happen. But I'm ready to embrace it. I am as ready as I can be without the parenting experience. And that's what I mean when I say that I am ready.
On a slightly different note - Joel and I have started to get Levi's room ready. The theme we chose is monkeys with a green and brown color scheme - incredibly cute. You can see our theme here at Babies 'R Us. The room is currently a disaster area, because we have to find new places for several items we used to keep in the spare/guest bedroom that is now becoming Levi's room. At this point, we could easily fill a four bedroom house instead of the the three bedroom that we have now!
At the beginning of this blog I mentioned the fact that I will be full term in six weeks. I intended to elaborate on that thought a bit more, but got side tracked with the whole subject of being personally attacked by that one not-so-nice individual. So back to that thought. The possibility of Levi coming in six weeks as opposed to 2 months, really caught me a little off guard. I don't know why...it's only a two week difference, but I guess it's different way to think of these things. But that's ok. These past 7 months have been one giant waiting game for me. Sometimes (well, most of the time) I can hardly stand the anticipation, and want to fast forward to the end of pregnancy. But I'm still not nervous. At least I don't think...but I have started to have weird pregnancy & delivery dreams - mostly that he comes too early (before 38 weeks) and I want to put him back inside of me and continue to grow him! Weird. So if having those kind of wierd dreams is some sort of way saying that I have subcontious fears, then maybe I am nervous and don't even realize it. Perhaps I am in denial. Or maybe I'm just crazy!
And btw, does anyone have any creative, economical suggestions to celebrate Valentine's Day? I'm trying to figure out a way to celebrate Valentine's Day this year without spending more than about...oh...I don't know...ten dollars!! Ha ha.