Thursday, April 26, 2007
I don't know.
You know what? When I was in college, and around the college age, I used to think and feel pressure to always have an answer to a certain question: "What do you want to do with your life?" And so I was always trying to figure that out. I changed my answer several times. I went from psychologist to missionary to musician, etc, etc. I have to admit, I'm still figuring out what I want to do. I don't always know....and yet it do. Doesn't seem to make very much sense, right? Let me explain. During college I thought that God was calling me to be a missionary. Everyone started telling me that I needed to change my major to Cross-Cultural Missions...but I felt differently. After seeking the Lord, I knew the Lord wanted me to study music...and I did. I have a degree in music. (Some people felt like I was running from "my call") Now fast forward a couple years later, I'm here in the southwest married to Joel, and I'm the wife of a youth pastor (among several other things). I teach music. I know I'm called to do music. I know I'm called to write music. I have an overwhelming desire to travel and see the world. And yet, I don't know about the missionary part. Maybe that part is yet to come. Or maybe I was mistaken. I don't know. But you know what? That's ok with me. I'm ok to not know everything all the time. All the Lord really asks of us is to seek him, and to follow his leading, and to be obedient. So whatever God's plans are for Joel and I, the Lord will reveal them in his time, whether it be a missionary, or a pastor, or just a regular person with a normal job. I've come to realize that it's ok to say, "I don't know what I want to do with my life yet." I always thought that was such a bad thing to say when I was younger. I thought I always had to have it figured out right away. Silly me.